Best Man Duties: Your Complete Guide & Wedding Day Timeline

So… you’ve been asked to be the best man (or best person) by someone close to you. First of all, you might be thinking what an honour! But secondly, you might be thinking… what am I supposed to do now?

Don’t panic! You were right the first time, when you thought about what an amazing honour being a best man is. If a close friend or family member has trusted you with this fantastic traditional wedding role, that means you’re one of their favourite people. And what it doesn’t mean is that you should worry. Your role might be one of the biggies when it comes to getting married, but your duties are actually fairly straightforward. 

That being said, there are still a few key things you need to do. It’s not about micromanaging flower deliveries or learning how to tie 14 different types of bow ties. It’s about showing up for the groom with your signature style of support and humour (and maybe a cheeky brandy to help calm their nerves), to help them get through their day.

From stag do shenanigans to making sure the rings are kept safe (yes, that’s your job), here’s your complete guide to best man duties and exactly what to do from the moment you’re asked through to the big day itself. 

What does a best man do?

Traditionally, the best man is there to help the groom through what will be a long and stressful day at times… which also happens to be the best and most magical day of their life. You’re there to be the groom’s right-hand person, which includes being both an organiser and a wingman. But then again, if they’ve asked you to be best man, chances are you basically have that covered already.

In modern weddings, the role is completely flexible, but here are some key duties you’re usually signing up for. Chat these through with the groom so you’re both on the same page, but traditionally, these are the typical responsibilities of a best man, roughly in order.

Best man duties before the wedding

Best man duties aren’t limited to the big day itself – they make up part of the wedding planning duties, too. 

Be there for the wedding planning

You won’t be involved with the nitty-gritty, but it’s great if you can be there with certain things, mainly as a soundboard for the groom who might be agonising over the occasional decision. That means lending an ear when the groom’s stressing over the guest list, hyping him up about playlists and nodding through approximately 47 variations of table plan-related dramas. It’s not your responsibility to be a full-time wedding planner, but the groom will no doubt really appreciate it if you’re there to offer your opinion from time to time.

Organise the stag do / bachelor party

This is arguably the best man’s biggest time to shine! Planning a stag do is one of the most exciting parts of the job, which could be one of the main reasons the groom asked you to take it on.

Start by putting together a guest list (approved by the groom, not just your party-loving uni mates), which might include family, friends and co-workers. Then, think of something genuinely fun and personal, and keep it within budget. Remember, the groom is planning a wedding, so might not want to spend thousands on a trip to Las Vegas.

Not every stag party needs to involve questionable costumes, a plethora of embarrassing situations or plane tickets. Think about what they’d enjoy and what would be a special pre-wedding send-off. A well-planned night out, a weekend at the seaside or even a chill pub crawl are all stag do staples, but anything is possible. Just make sure the groom makes it back in one piece.

Suit up

You don’t need to be a fashion guru, but you do need to play a role in making sure you and the groom look good. That means getting your outfit sorted well in advance and no last-minute ‘oh no, it doesn’t fit’ or ‘that’ll have to do’ disasters. This especially applies if there’s a dress code, which might include matching suits, colours or accessories.

If there are other groomsmen in the mix, you should act as the key contact who makes sure everyone’s on the same page about suit styles, shirt colours and sock choices (yes, it matters, believe it or not). So, make sure you get a WhatsApp group started so everyone knows the time and place for suit fittings and the like.

Give a great best man speech

No pressure, but this is one of the most anticipated moments of the reception. It’s your chance to big up the groom and his new spouse, while throwing in the odd joke that makes it majorly memorable.

But, there is a balance. The best man’s speech should be funny without roasting the groom to a crisp, and should definitely be heartfelt without being overly mushy. Basically, it should be memorable in all the right ways. A few funny stories, a sprinkle of heart and a nod to the couple’s love story is all it takes.

Once your speech is written, make sure to practice it out loud. The last thing you want to do is wing it on the day, especially as you might have had a few drinks to celebrate the big moment up to that point.

For more information, read our article on how to write a best man speech, or get inspired by our top best man speech examples.

Keep the communications flowing

In the weeks leading up to the wedding, you’ll be part best friend, part admin assistant. Help keep the groomsmen in check (someone will forget what time to arrive), assist the couple with loose ends like guest logistics or car hire, and just generally be the calm, reliable presence that keeps things ticking along throughout the chaos of planning.

Wedding day timeline for the best man

Here’s how the day itself usually goes down for the best man, from the moment you wake up to the moment the lights go up at the end of the disco.

Morning of the wedding

Keep the groom calm

You have one main job on the morning of the big day – to be the human stress ball. Nerves will be high, so keep the mood light. Crack a few inside jokes, put on his favourite playlist and make him a coffee (or a cheeky glass of something a little stronger). Make sure he eats, because nervous energy doesn’t pair well with an empty stomach, a stiff drink and a tight waistcoat. Plus, weddings tend to last a while, so if he doesn’t eat breakfast, the next chance he’ll get is probably during the wedding breakfast, which might be around two or three o’clock – and that doesn’t bode well if he’s had a few glasses of Dutch courage.

Help with the grooming

You’re now officially on tie-straightening, pocket-square-fluffing and collar-checking duty. Confirm that everyone looks sharp, that no one’s forgotten deodorant and that boutonnières are pinned on the correct side (it’s the left, by the way). Part of your responsibility is to be a walking, talking mirror. You might usually laugh about a squiffy quiff, but today you need to be there to get it sorted.

Look after the rings

If the couple is doing things the traditional way, looking after the rings will be your biggest responsibility of the whole wedding. Yep, even more than organising the stag do, believe it or not.

Check they’re still in your pocket, then recheck. Then check again. Maybe one more time. You need to guard the ring closer than Frodo on his way to Mount Doom. Because if you misplace them before the ceremony, you’re the one who’s going to feel the embarrassment, and royally tick off a few people in the process.

Pre‑ceremony duties 

Coordinate all the groomsmen

Channel your inner sergeant major, but maybe with a little love and charm (it is a wedding after all). Make sure everyone’s on time, dressed properly and knows where they need to be and when. You’re not doing the job of the wedding co-ordinator, but you need to be there to make sure the groom is all present and correct, and the other groomsmen are behaving themselves. Keep the vibe upbeat but firm, because wedding schedules don’t wait for anyone. Well, perhaps with the exception of the bride…

Welcome guests

Team up with the ushers to greet arriving guests. Help direct them to seats, reassure the ones wondering if they’re on the right side, and smile a lot to help calm some nervous relatives. You’re setting the tone for the day.

During the wedding ceremony

Stand by your best friend

Literally and emotionally, you need to stand by the groom. Stand tall, look composed and be the calming presence the groom needs beside him. No fidgeting. No yawning. No jokes unless the couple are into that. Your quiet support here is all they need.

Hold onto the wedding rings

Remember how we highlighted how important it was to hold onto the rings? That still stands. Hopefully, by this point, you kept your hand tight to your pocket at all times to make sure the rings are exactly where they need to be.

When the time comes and you’re asked, hand the rings gently and delicately to the officiant. Once the officiant has them, you can relax – the high-pressure bit is finally over.

Post-ceremony duties 

Round up the crowd

Group photo chaos? You’re on it. Work with the photographer to gently herd wandering guests into place for family and wedding party shots. Bonus points for remembering names or having a voice that carries over chatter.

Help manage the timings

You’re the unofficial schedule keeper. Coordinate with the toastmaster, planner or venue coordinator to keep things moving and make sure everyone knows what’s going on. Don’t be afraid to give people a polite nudge when it’s time to head to the drinks reception or take their seats for dinner.

Keep an eye on the groom

Yes, again. Sure, they’re an adult, but with people keen to buy them drinks and steer them away from food and rest, they can get a little carried away. The big day can be a bit of a blur, so make sure he’s not running on fumes. Grab him a bite to eat. Offer a glass of something without alcohol in it from time to time. Take over the conversation with over-enthusiastic relatives if he needs five minutes to chill. Be the hero they need you to be!

At the wedding reception

Give a great best man speech

This is your moment in the spotlight. Take a deep breath, steady your notes (or phone) and deliver what you’ve no doubt spent weeks or maybe even months agonising over. Aim for around five minutes, which is long enough to be memorable but short enough to avoid rambling. Share a few funny stories, a little sentiment and skip anything too mortifying (this isn’t a stag do recap). Wrap it up with a warm, genuine toast to the happy couple.

For more information, read our guide on how to write a speech for a best friend and check out our best man speech examples for some inspiration.

Dance, mingle, celebrate

Once your speech is done, it’s time to let loose. Work the room, introduce people who haven’t met and lead the charge to the dance floor. If the vibe dips, you bring it back up. Just remember you’re still there to look after the groom and make sure he’s fed and watered, so don’t let your hair down too much.

Late-night duties

Help with the logistics

As the night winds down and the newlyweds make their exit (or sneak away for five minutes of peace), be on hand for any final tasks. Coordinate taxis, help collect gifts and be there to answer any questions from the venue staff.

Keep an eye on the groom’s stuff

Phone, wallet, jacket, notes, sunglasses, dignity… all are easily lost the longer the night goes on. Make sure the groom doesn’t leave anything important behind.

Five pro best man tips

1. Carry an emergency kit

Think back to what you learnt during your time in the Cub Scouts: always be prepared. Pack a pocket-sized lifesaver kit with safety pins, tissues, mints, and paracetamol. You can also throw in some plasters, deodorant and maybe a phone charger too, for good measure. You never know when you or the groom might need one, and having them to hand will lift you to legendary best man status.

2. Learn the schedule for the day

Ask for a copy of the running order or timeline so you know what’s happening and when. Speeches, group photos, first dance, bouquet toss… It’s all smoother when you’re in the know and not surprised at the same time as all the other guests.

3. Keep the focus on the couple

Make sure the day is always about them. Even if your speech is hilarious and your dance moves attention-grabbing, your role is to celebrate the couple by keeping things running smoothly. Whether that means calming a nervous groom, helping Grandma find her seat or kicking off a standing ovation, you’re there to act as their biggest cheerleader.

4. Try not to drink too much

Yes, there will be drinks. Yes, you’re allowed to enjoy them. But save the full-on celebrations for later, after your main duties are done. A slightly tipsy best man might be entertaining, but a totally sloshed one can derail the day.

5. Take a moment to think about what it means

Being asked to be the best man is a big deal. It’s a sign of trust, friendship and shared history. So while you’re running around with cufflinks and confetti, take a second to appreciate what it means.

The bottom line on best man duties 

Being a best man (or best person) is about showing up before, during and after the wedding. You’re the organiser, the comic relief and the secret weapon who keeps things running when nerves or chaos arise.

Do that, and not only will you be remembered as a brilliant best man, but you’ll also get a front‑row seat to one of the happiest days of your best friend’s life.

Plan the ultimate wedding with Bridebook

Whether you’re a future best man, or you’re considering asking someone to do the honours for you, Bridebook offers plenty of resources, tips and information to ensure everything wedding-planning related goes smoothly. Sign up to Bridebook today to help you or your best mate plan the ultimate wedding.

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Happy Planning!